He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
