What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
