So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
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