i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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