She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
