THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
