She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
