its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
