I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
