Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
