I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
