Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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