dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize