is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
