We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
