we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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