its not stalking. its research.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
