is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
FUCK WHALES
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
