I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
