He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
