So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just blew my weed a kiss
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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