Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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