I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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