The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
