theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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