Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
