Non-Jews are for practice
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
