One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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