belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
