She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We are all done wearing pants today
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
