I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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