She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
