A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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