Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
So vagazzling was a success
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize