i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
