Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
i out mim tonsoeep
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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