hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Randomize
