I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
