Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
