she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
