Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
