I only kidnapped one of them. chill
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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