You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
