And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
