saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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