theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
