just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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