lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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