White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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