so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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