The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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