exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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