I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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