is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
