Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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