I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
