I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize