great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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