You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
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i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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