He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
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He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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