Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Sober January is a disaster.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
