You work out of a Hotel?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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