literally had 100 drinks last night.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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