I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
