Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
